Relationships can be hard sometimes, especially when it comes to moving on from your ex. Sure, it may look like you’re fine on the outside, but inside there’s a perfect storm of sadness, depression, anger, and anxiety brewing.

Here are nine really stupid things you should never do right after the breakup.

1. Living together

It may seem like a no-brainer, but realistically speaking, you can’t just cut a person out from your life in an instant. Sometimes there’s a long transition period, during which it’s important to keep your distance from the ex. Go live at your friend’s or parents’ house for a while.

2. There’s no such thing as “soulmates”

The romance was fun while it lasted, but stop pretending like you’re the only person who understands your ex. The longer you lie to yourself, the harder it will be to move on.

3. Stop messaging your ex

How was your day? Really? All you should be worried about when it comes to your ex is if they’re ever going to give you back the time you’ve wasted on them. And the answer is always a resounding “never,” so don’t even bother and stop torturing yourself.

4. No stalking, please

It’s really creepy, nobody wants to be stalked or ambushed, and it’s certainly not the best usage of your free time. This rule also applies to internet stalking on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. It’s not funny, cute, or legal. Don’t even think about it!

5. Thinking about your ex all day, every day

Here’s the hard-to-swallow pill: even when you’re fuming about your ex to a friend, your brain gets swamped with memories of both good and bad days. In other words, you should purge that person from your memory, or at least stay as neutral as you can.

6. Taking back your stuff

Let’s say you’ve been living with your mom and dad ever since you broke up with that jerk. But you suddenly realize there’s that one item you really need right now, and the only way to get it back is to arrange a meeting. Stop. Ask a friend to help you out, or just let that item rot in your ex’s home forever. You never needed it anyway.

7. Obsess about your ex

It may feel therapeutic to imagine a billion tiny needles poking your ex’s face or dreaming about how they’re desperately trying to come up with a plan to win you over, but it’s really bad for you. The less you think of your ex, the sooner you can get your life back on track.

8. Have a random one-night stand

You’ll be hurting yourself more if you jump on the Stranger Express too fast, not to mention doing it with a close friend. That’s going to add a lot more problems to your plate instead of solving anything.

9. Grieve for too long

By all means, take your time before jumping into a new relationship, but be careful not to get sucked into the sorrowful mire of pathetic loneliness unless you’re into that stuff. A new love story awaits but only if and when you’re ready.