Breaking up with a loved one is a serious test of will. But you can make it even more unbearable if you do all kinds of stupid things listed below. Just remember this is a hugely generalized set of situations, not an answer to all your problems, okay? Let’s see which things you should avoid after a breakup.

Stop messaging your ex

You’ll get the urge to message your ex to see how they are doing or tell them what messed up thing Karen did in the office today. But it’s not worth killing your mental health, especially if they’re ghosting you or leaving you on “read.” Trust me, they definitely saw those last ten messages — time to move on.

Stop seeing each other

Your brain may disguise it as “hanging out with friends.” Five minutes later, and you are already going to the cinema, planning a party, arranging D&D sessions, etc. This only makes your emotional attachment worse. Plus, you’d be forcing yourself to go through incredibly unpleasant situations while simultaneously trying to accept that the relationship no longer works. Stop it right this second!

Do not stalk your ex

We’re talking both physically stalking and refreshing their profile page every five seconds. One of those is only a little bit sad, while the other one can get you arrested. In both cases, you hope that your ex is still not over you, and, most likely, they’ve already moved on from the breakup and got a new partner. Unless you’re a masochist, stop following your former love interest at least until you find some peace.

Never return their things in person

This one echoes the very thing we mentioned earlier: stop seeing each other. Even if you need to return your ex’s stuff or pick up yours, you can always ask your friends for help or hire someone. This could also be a chance to get rid of the things you won’t be using, like an old pair of jorts and some CDs. It’s quite therapeutic.

Stop wallowing in your own misery

It is really difficult to manage the pain at first. But if you get stuck thinking that the love of your life has left you and you’ll never be happy again, just know that you’re making it a thousand times harder on yourself. Not to mention that meeting someone new with this kind of mindset is extremely problematic, so it’s a big feedback loop of negativity you want to avoid at all costs.

Stop mentioning your ex

The more you talk about your ex-love, be it good or bad, the more you invite him back into your life. Love and hate have always been two sides of the same stick. Or was it a coin? Either way, neutrality should be your goal.

Your friends aren’t rebound material

Such hollow relationships do not lead to anything good. But it’s even worse if you try to mend a broken heart with an old flame. As a result, they will be hurt, and you will be ashamed of your decisions. If you suddenly notice how charming your friend is, just slow down. Please don’t overdo it.

Stop imagining what could have happened

If you fixate on the past and torment yourself with ethereal delusions, you’ll go mad. That’s just a fact. But then again, what if you two lovebirds are destined to be together? Chances are stacked against you. Move on!