Dating in your 20’s can be a hard landscape to maneuver. Many may not think this is difficult for men, but it definitely is. Learning how to be an adult, and learning who you are as an adult – all while trying to find love is not an easy task. Relationships are one of the most challenging aspects of life, and figuring out how to make one work while still growing up is one thing that many guys find to be incredibly hard. But there are some ways to make the growing pains of dating in young adulthood a little bit easier. These dating hacks can help you avoid some of the many pitfalls that guys fall into in their 20’s. Are you ready to date smarter and not harder? Here are 7 helpful tips for dating in your 20’s for guys.
Take Your Time
Being in your 20’s is about figuring things out. We as a society have put an emphasis in the past on being married and established by our mid 20’s. But this concept is fading in favor of having a more well-rounded personhood before anything else. You may not find your soulmate in your 20’s, and that is okay. Take your time and enjoy learning about yourself, and who you are in the context of dating.
Nothing is Perfect
No relationship will be picture perfect. And if you go into a situation looking for that as an ideal, you will be disappointed every single time. Relationships are imperfect because people are. Give room for mistakes, arguments, awkward silences, and all the beautiful strangeness in between.
Here is where your character comes into play. Being inconsiderate of others’ needs and feelings is so played out. Be upfront and genuine about what you want out of the connection between you and another person. If you are merely looking for something casual, or something serious, be honest in the beginning. This will keep you both from wasting your time, and minimize emotional collateral damage.
Too many times, it has been reinforced culturally that men should not show emotion or express how they are feeling. This concept of toxic masculinity is not doing anyone any favors, especially you. Expressing how you feel gives your partner the chance to get to know the real you, show up for you, and do better at meeting your needs and wants – which are just as important as anyone else’s.
Do Some Self Reflection
In order to adequately express yourself, you have to be in tune with what you are feeling first. Another travesty is how little society has encouraged men to be in tune with themselves and what’s going on inside emotionally. As you maneuver the relationship, take time to sit with yourself and think about what feels good to you, and what does not.
Breathe Before You React
So often, we say things we don’t mean in the heat of the moment. A great rule of thumb for dealing with disagreements is to take a breather before initially reacting to what your partner said or did. Give it a few minutes, or even hours, to marinate on the situation and then respond. Your feelings or thoughts on the subject will likely be less intense, and your response will reflect that more eloquently.
Above all else, be a kind person no matter the highs and lows of the relationship. It is easy to be pleasant when all is well, but practice being kind in your interactions when the road is rough and you don’t feel the butterflies in the moment. This will foster real trust and friendship between you and your partner, and that is really the best foundation for a relationship of any kind.