5 Small Things That Kill Intimacy In Marriage – DAVID RAUDALES


Businessman, musician / former Full Stack Developer

David Raudales

5 Small Things That Kill Intimacy In Marriage

In new relationships, lust and intimacy are things we take for granted. However, though things can start out hot and heavy, it’s easy to fall into an inevitable pattern, as many committed couples do. The intimacy slows down, and things start becoming more routine. The moments that used to be exciting start to feel like a boring chore.

Recognizing the shift in intimacy can be challenging, but it’s not a dead-end. You may not recapture the same initial excitement (especially when you’re so familiar with each other now), but you’re far from doomed. Your love life doesn’t have to conform to the stereotypical cliché that long-term committed couples are expected to fall into. There’s room for growth, improvement, and rekindling the spark.

But what exactly are the things that ruin intimacy and prevent passion in a long-term relationship? Read on to find out and see what you can do about it.

1. Not having enough time

Finding time to connect can be tough if your work schedules and circadian rhythms don’t align. Does one partner work very long hours? Is one of you a night owl while the other is a morning bird? These time challenges can feel like a lot to manage daily, but even if your plate is consistently full, you must make time for physical intimacy in long-term relationships. 

If you still have trouble syncing up your schedules, consider implementing “quickie” ways of connecting throughout your busy schedules, such as daily touch, expressing gratitude, and reliving old memories. You can also make room for an intimate time by scheduling it (though it may not be as exciting as the spontaneous romps in the beginning) and prioritizing sleep so that you’re in the mood more often. 

2. Not having enough energy

It’s simple. To have intimacy, you need energy. People burn more calories getting down and dirty than they do running a mile. If you already fit exercise into your busy day, the thought of being intimate can be even more exhausting. Even if you don’t have kids or prepare dinner nightly for a family, you can still feel knackered at the end of the day.

The solution? Slowing down. Though it can sometimes feel impossible, slowing down in the age of speed and focusing on quality of life rather than being efficient is extremely important. It’s all about balance! Making healthier decisions (eating better and sleeping more) can also boost energy.

Smiling more is also a hidden power that not many know about. It can make us feel even better than eating chocolate and has benefits for longevity and overall well-being.


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